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No End Insight | June 26, 2008 | The last Weltschmerz. A horny dilemma for Horst. I'm a fan of ambiguous, European-movie endings.
No Show, No Tell | June 19, 2008 | Horst meets with his cyberlover and discovers she is his ex girlfriend's girlfriend.
Subtext | June 12, 2008 | Horst gets a reality check from Cosmo and his new girlfriend Pangaea: What does his closet lesbianism mean?
Closet Guy | June 6, 2008 | A conversation between two lesbians online. Or are they? One could be an obese, acne-scarred John McCain-voting redneck. Or one could be Horst.
Healing Process | May 29, 2008 | Horst is frequenting Planet Lesbos, pretending to be a lesbian. Is he really over Celia?
Twin Peaks | May 22, 2008 | The 100-Litre Diet - Day 27: Welcome to Cosmo's own private world food crisis. Is his hunger accentuating a rare offline sexual encounter?
Tanked | May 15, 2008 | Cosmo goes on a date with the luddite girl he met at a demonstration.
There Will Be Hunger | May 8, 2008 | The 100-Litre Diet -- Day 1; Cosmo starts out a year living on the four biofuel groups.
There Will Be Hunger | May 1, 2008 | Cosmo is plagued by dreams of biofuel-caused famine. He decides to embark on a 100-litre diet, eating the corn used to make 100 litres of biofuel -- or one SUV fill-up -- in a year, which is what an average African does.
Biofools | April 24, 2008 | Cosmo and Horst go for a filleruppuccino. Will that be a venti blue corn biofuel blend, hold the oil sands?
Sideways | April 17, 2008 | Cosmo has the hots for the luddite girl he met at a Kyoto Now demo. But he never dates offline -- and she's never used a mouse. Is there any hope, or is this Romeo and Juliette across a digital divide?
Luddite Homesteaders | April 10, 2008 | Horst catches Cosmo driving to a Kyoto Now! demonstration, where he wants to capture the moral righteousness of the demonstrators for a YouTube doc.
Snow Is a Four Letter Word | April 3, 2008 | Will winter never end? Frank is disappointed that despite all his efforts to create climate change, there are still snow drifts in front of his house.
See Mammaries Save Sea Mammals | March 27, 2008 | Horst and Cosmo confront a bimbo approach to seal hunting.
Know iSelf | March 20, 2008 | How much does Cosmo's iSelf mirror himself?
Backtop | March 13, 2008 | How Cosmo keeps effortlessly surfing on the cutting edge.
Goodbye Cool World | March 6, 2008 | Be cool by being uncool. But then, are you cool or uncool? Horst and Cosmo explain.
Double or Nothing | February 28, 2008 | A conversation about sex and jealousy over Raj's comatose body.
Baggage | February 21, 2008 | Horst goes for a walk in the snow with Celia sitting on his shoulders.
Phantom Wife Syndrome | February 14, 2008 | "If I lose a leg to an IED, do I say "ex-leg?" No, it's still my leg, even though it's been shredded. So why do we say ex-wife?" Horst has a too-close encounter with another sufferer of PWS.
Attention Insomniacs! | February 7, 2008 | Horst joins the Insomniacs with Phantom Girlfriend Syndrome Facebook group -- the offline edition. The solution to his problems? Shop till you drop.
I See Dead People | January 31, 2008 | Cindy joins Celia to visit Donya at the hospital where Raj is in a coma. All she sees are dead people.
Disputing the Benefits | January 24, 2008 | As Celia leaves to spend another evening supporting Donya at the hospital, Cindy wonders if she has a lover or a bit part in Rendition.
Upgrade Issues | January 17, 2008 | Horst and Cosmo meet to co-grok the new Mac OS. Do geek bonds go deeper?
Intelligence | January 10, 2008 | At a fund-raising party for the comatose Raj Malick, Horst asks Frank if he thinks Celia might be having an affair with Donya.
Visiting Hours | January 3, 2008 | Horst visits the comatose Raj in the hospital -- and is himself visited.
Climate Chaos Theory | December 27, 2007 | Canada's stance at the Bali climate change conference culminates a long line of Canadian triumphs, with a pledge not to throw toddlers into high-efficiency furnaces.
Ghosts of Christmas Future | December 20, 2007 | Canada's environment minister John Baird takes a hard line at the UN Climate Conference in Bali -- insisting that using babies as fuel will radically reduce their lifetime emissions (because their lifetimes will be radically reduced).
Cremation Ceremonies | December 13, 2007 | In Bali, they burn their dead and throw the ashes into the rising sea. Global Gus and Stephen Harper are planning to do just that with the Kyoto Accord.
Taser Love | December 6, 2007 | At a press conference, Stockwell Day says Raj Malik was tasered as a "heroic intervention" to prevent Economy Class Syndrome.
Homecoming | November 29, 2007 | Raj's flight on Renditionair returns, finally, from Afghanistan. His friends, an ambulance and a press conference with Stockwell Day are there to greet him.
One Man's Tragedy | November 22, 2007 | Celia calls to tell Horst that Raj is on a flight from Afghanistan. But he's in a coma. Franks sees this crisis as an opportunity for Horst to patch things up with Celia.
Pyramid Scheme | November 15, 2007 | Stephen Harper is on tour, promoting his new self-help book, The Harper Method: How a 1% GST Cut Can Make Your Dreams Come True
No Label | November 8, 2007 | Celia admits to Max that she is jealous of Cindy's 20,000 fundamentalist, celebrity-worshipping fans.
Oil Asanas | November 1, 2007 | Stephen Harper is using an innovative, New Age method to reduce carbon emissions from oil sands mining: The power of positive thinking.
The Right to Abstain | October 25, 2007 | Horst discovers that Celia forgot to vote in the Ontario election -- a reaction to 12 years of being subjected to his über-political rants.
Meet the Fan Base | October 18, 2007 | Cindy's fans have weighed in on her new girlfriend, Celia. But Celia isn't too sure whether she can handle a relationship with a 20,001 "uniques."
Idling Cars Do Devil's Work | October 11, 2007 | Horst vs Hummer
How You Play the Game | October 4, 2007 | Over drinks, Frank tries to convince Horst of the merits of the first-past-the-post electoral system. Who will be the last man standing?
Friends in High Places | September 27, 2007 | Horst is facestalked by Dalton McGuinty and John Tory, who both want to be his friend.
Creationist Blahs | September 20, 2007 | Des and Max compare Ontario's potential mid-winter holidays and creationist tendencies with those of Max's new home, Alberta.
GOP 2.0 | September 13, 2007 | Celia is visiting her long-time friend Cindy, dissecting her defunct relationship with Horst, when the plot twists.
Porn Flakes | September 6, 2007 | Horst is now shacking up with Frank, who proves to be a less-than-ideal roommate: Messages are not passed on, and porn is running during breakfast.
Four-letter Mind | August 30, 2007 | Horst is in hiding from BioDredge, the makers of Gaiagra, who don't take too kindly when one of their patients decides the drug is not for him.
Wait for the Results | August 23, 2007 | Horst goes on another Gaiagra-induced torture-porn trip, in which his doctor dunks him in a boiling hot tub, refusing to let him stop taking the drug. Or does he?
Woohoo | August 16, 2007 | The origins of the powerful anti-climate change-induced depression drug, Gaiagra.
Deathly Hallucinations | August 9, 2007 | Horst's doctor reassures him that his weird visions are just a result of too low a dose of Gaiagra. Then he pops off Horst's head.
Go West | August 2, 2007 | Max gets a job offer from the University of Alberta. Des doesn't want to move away from his nephew, Skid.
Pod People | July 26, 2007 | Cosmo creates a protest playlist dedicated to the abused Chinese worker who made his iPod.
Yellow Pearl | July 19, 2007 | In another Gaiagra-induced hallucination, Horst is pummeled with tainted products made in China.
Side Effects | July 12, 2007 | Cosmo asks Horst why he keeps taking Gaiagra if the hallucinatory side effects are like a season's pass to the Revelations Museum.
Clinical Trial | July 5, 2007 | Day 3 of Horst's clinical trial of Gaiagra: He discovers the pill talks back to him.
Bunker Mentality | June 28, 2007 | Cosmo shows Horst his brand new, revolutionary communications device: the dPhony. It debunks anything. Case in point: Harper's statements on Afghanistan.
Through a Glass, Darkly | June 21, 2007 | "Girls don't go for guys unable to see the glass half full." So says Horst's doctor, who wants to prescribe him a new drug that relieves despair caused by environmental crises.
Auto-reply | June 14, 2007 | Facebook brings spam by "friends" to a new level. Call it "spal."
Emotional Property Rights | June 7, 2007 | Horst's new status of "dumpee" has gone viral via Facebook. For Cosmo, this is a good thing: "You get it all over with in a nano-second!"
Facebooklash | May 31, 2007 | Horst uses Facebook to announce to his "friends" that Celia has dumped him. His friends tell their friends...
Compatibility Issues | May 24, 2007 | Frank offers Horst an antidote to his breakup blues: the largest HD porn collection in Canada.
Hewers of Wood | May 17, 2007 | Stephen Harper calls Stockwell Day out from the dungeon where he resides. Donya and her lawyer threaten to sue unless Raj is released by Canadian troops in Afghanistan.
Friendly Firewall | May 10, 2007 | Donya finally gets a meeting with the Prime Minister, who gives her the news that her husband has been transfered to the Canadian army base in Kandahar.
All's Fair in Love and War | May 3, 2007 | Somewhere in a CIA prison, Raj is told his wife Donya is sleeping with a women. Spy photos seem to bare this out. Is this another lies-from-home interrogation tactic?
Triggers | April 26, 2007 | Celia's chance meeting with Horst triggers a rant on the effects of plastic water bottles on humans.
The Emperor's New Clothes | April 19, 2007 | Stephen Harper: Drag Queen of Canada.
Pull yourself up by the gluons | April 12, 2007 | At a speech by best-selling author Rhonda Byrne, Donya is let in on The Secret -- but isn't sure she wants to hear it.
Pirates of the Carpal Tunnel | April 5, 2007 | Des confronts his nephew Skid about his plagiarizing at school. Skid says he was only sampling.
No Man is an Ice Floe | March 29, 2007 | Horst finds himself having a smoke on an ice floe (about the only place you can nowadays) -- but is rudely interrupted by a polar bear.
End of the World | March 22, 2007 | Horst and Celia's relationship is a casualty of global warming that Al Gore forgot to mention. Horst breaks the news to Frank.
Hangnails | March 15, 2007 | The support group for wives of detainees ask Celia about her breakup with Horst. She feels like a hangnail sufferer in a room full of amputees.
Support Group | March 8, 2007 | In a support group for wives of the detained, Celia is asked where her man is being held.
G.I. Steve Meets Terror Bear | March 1, 2007 | What happens when a heavy-duty action leader meets a stuffed teddy bear that's soft'n'cuddly on terror?
Earth Defence | February 22, 2007 | Horst is on trial for spousal abuse by cruel and unusual thermostat settings. Stephen Harper intervenes because the judge is a "tree-hugger hugger."
War Measures | February 15, 2007 | Horst and Celia's battle over the thermostat reaches its climax. Horst wins the battle -- but does he lose the war?
Friends of the Truth | February 8, 2007 | Before you trade in your Hummer for a hybrid -- are you sure you are to blame for global warming? Global Gus, spokesglobe for Friends of the Truth, offers other theories as to why the planet is heating up.
Thermostat War | February 1, 2007 | Global warming hits home -- Horst and Celia's home, where the temperature setting is the trigger for all-out thermo war. Will their relationship survive the fallout?
Toxic Thought Balloon | January 25, 2007 | Horst's thoughts of the prime minister straddling an exhaust pipe are keeping him awake. Celia's sleep is also disturbed by the mother of all thought balloons.
15 Minutes | January 18, 2007 | Frank has converted: He has donated his SUV to the museum's dinosaur gallery and now drives a Prius. | January 11, 2007 | Cosmo unveils his new web site -- the cultural genome of our times.
MP3 Levels | January 4, 2007 | Is Horst ranting in his sleep or does he have a terminal case of insomnia?
Tending Your Eunich | December 28, 2006 | Horst is worried that Celia has developed a self-help addiction. But when he tries to talk to her friend Cindy about it, he gets an ice-cold shoulder.
Desperate Architects | December 21, 2006 | Celia is desperately seeking a self-help book for architects plagued by guilt at destroying historic buildings that provide studio space for artists.
The Boxed Set of Everything | December 14, 2006 | Cosmo urges Horst to get the Boxed Set of Everything, fulfilling all his entertainment needs with one swipe of the credit card.
Canada's New Anthem | December 7, 2006 | Environment Minister Rona Ambrose belts out a new anthem for a new government.
Rogue Canada | November 30, 2006 | Stephen Harper wants credit for cutting CO2 emissions from Taliban suicide bombers.
Kingmaker | November 23, 2006 | Has Frank joined the support group for failed Liberal Leadership Candidates?
Infertile Pride | November 16, 2006 | Celia tries to convince Horst to adopt a child -- without paying $3 million to bribe the country.
Gerbils | November 9, 2006 | Gerbils procreate. Gays can't marry because they can't procreate. Should gerbils have the right to marry?
God's Business | November 2, 2006 | Vatican superheroes Vatman and Altar-Boy Wonder pay a late-night visit to Horst and Celia.
Emission Targets | October 26, 2006 | Stress causes low sperm count -- but Horst remains convinced that, despite his long hours at work, one or two of his sperm may survive to complete their mission.
Steve | October 19, 2006 | If you love our troops. If you love your timbits. You MUST see this movie.
Post-Ugly | October 12, 2006 | Celia laments to Cindy about her role in the condo boom.
Global Facelessness | October 5, 2006 | "Facetime is hindering our ability to compete in the global facelessness" -- Frank Bower, Liberal Leadership Contender, in a debate with Michael Ignatieff and Bob Rae.
Facetime | September 28, 2006 | Frank's new policy for the Liberal leadership race is to ban unproductive socializing.
All True Warmance | September 21, 2006 | U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Foreign Affairs Minister Peter Mackay have an affair in the pages of a romance comic book.
Home | September 14, 2006 | News from home for Raj, held captive by the Americans: Stephen Harper is upset that the U.S. won't share its no-fly list. Stephen wants to make lists of his own.
Men with Hoses | September 7, 2006 | Prime Minister Stephen Harper attends the Firefighters' Convention -- but not the AIDS Conference. In honour of his apparent festish for dressing in uniforms, Weltschmerz shows the emperor with no clothes.
American Care | August 31, 2006 | Donya receives a visit from Officer Stephen Harper, who informs her why the Americans won't release her husband, who is being held in Afghanistan.
Stockholm | August 24, 2006 | U.S. forces in Afghanistan rescue Canadian hostage Raj Malik. After three years in captivity - first in the hands of Canadians, then Pakistanis, then wannabe Al Qaeda, Raj is free. Or is he?
Evolution | August 17, 2006 | Horst and Celia discuss America's evolution denial.
Blog Hole | August 10, 2006 | Cosmo offers Horst theories about why blog holes may mean the end of the Internet as we know it.
Wiggle Room | August 3, 2006 | What is environmentally friendlier: Birthing a baby or adopting from China? Or is the issue really whether Horst is in denial abouit his newly discovered inferttility?
Stud Finder | July 27, 2006 | Now that Horst is no longer a breeder, Celia fantasizes about finding a new stud.
Underworldwear | July 20, 2006 | Was Horst's sperm killed by tight jockey shorts? Or was it the broccoli? Or the laptop? The mystery thickens.
Spermicide | July 13, 2006 | Horst's sperm cells are dead. Is it murder? Weltschmerz goes film noir.
Cave Paintings | July 6, 2006 | Horst tries to produce a sperm sample to see why he and Celia can't conceive. He finds the sample-producing aids less than satisfactory.
Tuvalu | June 29, 2006 | Frank deals with global warming and the war on terror in one fell swoop - and gets reprimanded by Stephen Harper for creating competition.
Asymmetric | June 22, 2006 | "These suicides were not an act of desperation, rather an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us." - Rear Admiral Harry Harris, Guantanamo Camp Commander
Press Conference | June 15 2006 | Frank has to defend donations from frozen, unfertilized eggs - and is asked how his background in the porn industry will equip him for government.
Dark Horse | June 8, 2006 | Frank announces his candidacy for the Liberal party. Horst wonders how a unilingual, day-trading, web porn-peddling ex-Tory like him can win Liberal hearts and minds.
Founding Fathers | June 1, 2006 | Raj's kidnapper outlines why he believes terrorists will bankrupt America. They've stolen their technique from the Americans themselves. Reagan makes a post-humous appearance.
Trouble | May 25, 2006 | Stephen Harper said he'd never cut and run on Canada's commitments at the first sign of trouble. Then he cut and run on Kyoto.
80 Percent | May 18, 2006 | Global Gus wants you to live like there's no tomorrow - so there won't be a tomorrow.
Sporn | May 11, 2006 | Frank has the solution to help Horst in conceiving a child: Porn.
Instead | May 4, 2006 | Harper's plan for the future.
Nose Tweaking | April 27, 2006 | A baby grabs Harper's nose. But that's just the beginning of a full-on infant pile-up.
Thunk! | April 20, 2006 | A harp seal clubs Pamela Anderson.
At First Site | April 13, 2006 | Cosmo introduces Horst to his main cyber-squeeze.
Terror Mandate | April 6, 2006 | Raj gets an earful from his captor.
Jihad | March 30, 2006 | Raj discovers he was taken hostage because he was mistaken for a Dane.
A Better Prison | March 23, 2006 | Pakistan. Raj is being transferred to another prison when a bomb explodes under the vehicle.
Renaissance | March 16, 2006 | Horst enters Cosmo's blog.
Grunt Work | March 3, 2006 | Blogs are making conversation obsolete.
Renaissance | February 23, 2006 | Des' nephew Skid is called to the principal's office for caricaturizing his teacher.
Wooden | February 16, 2006 | Stephen Harper's rise to power causes Horst's fall into impotency.
Romance | February 9, 2006 | Our new warm'n'passionate PM in action.
Work Out | February 2, 2006 | Donya and Celia compare notes on why they are not getting any.
Advance Vote | January 26, 2006 | Celia and Horst escape the last moments of the Canadian election by fleeing to Cuba.
Not Kinky | January 19, 2006 | Horst gets into bed with Stephen Harper.
Acting Strange | January 12, 2006 | You gotta wonder. Demographically speaking, he should be. So is Des' nephew Skid a member of a gang?
Never-Nesters | January 5, 2006 | The anniversary of Horst and Celia's resolution to have a baby arrives - and Horst uses it as a political allegory.
Resolution | December 29, 2005 | Bush's New Year's resolution: Kinder, merrier renditions.
Sightings | December 22, 2005 | Environmentalist David Susuki warns that global warming will cause Santa's extinction.
Stress'n'Duress | December 15, 2005 | After two years in prison, Raj is extradited from Canada.
Twisted Weasel | December 08, 2005 | Raj gets a demonstration of the twisted weasel pose from his torture guru.
Mustache | December 1, 2005 | The effect of Jack Layton's mustache on women voters in sub-zero temperatures - a special hour-long exposé.
Operatives | November 24, 2005 | Raj's interrogator in a Canadian prison threatens to send him to Pakistan. Raj protests that he is Canadian.
Tantric | November 17, 2005 | Horst: "If you're gonna go all tantric afterwards, at least I should be allowed to have a smoke."
Flu-watching | November 10, 2005 | Horst meets Big Bird, Donald Duck, the Road Runner, Daffy Duck, Opus... guess what this cartoon's about.
Duck Hunt | November 3, 2005 | The leader of a sleeper flock threatens to kill millions if his demands are not met.
Fear of Ducks | October 27, 2005 | Hinterland who's who: Celia and Horst encounter a scary creature in the woods.
How Often? | October 21, 2005 | A look at how differently the men and women perceive sex.
Suicide Dieting | October 13, 2005 | Cindy explains to Celia how Kate Moss has been a role supermodel to her.
Save Kate! | October 6, 2006 | Cindy joins "Stoners Gathering for Moss" at a vigil to support fallen supermodel Kate Moss
Daytimer Sex | September 29, 2005 | Horst is shocked when Celia suggests she pencil him in for sex.
Warm'n'Fuzzy | September 22, 2005 | For Frank, gas prices can't go high enough.
Interrogation | September 15, 2005 | An intelligence agent tries force Raj to admit his comments about suicide wings were actually code for a terrorist plot.
Five Stages of Grief | September 8, 2005 | Katrina vs. Dubya. Katrina wins.
Problem | September 1, 2005 | Dalton McGuinty is feeling inadequate compared to virile Alberta's oil-gushing prosperity.
Poverty Unlimited | August 25, 2005 | Des is afraid to go out.
Living Daylights | August 18, 2005 | Extending daylight saving time is part of the War on Terror.
Worms | August 11, 2005 | Cosmo and Horst are debriefed on their failure to fix the corrupted MonoLib.
Progress Bar | August 4, 2005 | Horst and Cosmo are trapped in the computing machinery of the government.
Proctologic | July 28, 2005 | Deep in the bowels of Parliament, Horst and Cosmo enter the monoLib.
Canada OS | July 21, 2005 | As our corruption fighters prepare to enter Canada OS, Cosmo warns Horst not to let his guard down - or he will also become corrupted.
monoLib | July 14, 2005 | Behold - the monoLib! Horst and Cosmo encounter Canada's entire operating system - in one iPodesque slab.
Heart of Dorkiness | July 7, 2005 | Horst and Cosmo meet Prime Minister Paul Martin in the corridors of power. He promptly tries to convert them.
Jolt Tub | June 30, 2005 | Horst is awoken by an emergency phone call from work: Ottawa's anti-corruption software is corrupt.
Workout | June 16, 2005 | Raj's solitary confinement puts a crimp in Donya's sex life.
Closet Liberal | June 9, 2005 | Belinda and Peter break up in this Parliamentary soap.
Gas Prices | May 19, 2005 | We're faced with an impending energy crisis and an obesity epidemic. Cellulite mining can solve both!.
Alternative Energy | May 12, 2005 | In 2000, U.S. airlines used an extra 1.3 billion litres of fuel to carry their over-weight passengers. This cartoon proposes a startlingly simple solution. Hint: Oilbesity.
Intelligent Shoes | May 5, 2005 | Frank shows off his new $350 computerized shoes.
No | April 28, 2005 | Horst fears he has what may be the first instance of Gulf War Syndrome caused by babysitting.
Babysitting | April 21, 2005 | Celia wants Horst to join her babysitting Donya and Raj's kids as a dry run on parenthood. But Horst has Arcade Fire tickets. Another classic relationship moment.
Funeral | April 14, 2005 | Horst and Cosmo have a wake after the Pope's death - and a conversation about AIDS, gay marriage and political corruption. This cartoon has ADD.
Sacred | April 7, 2005 | George Bush is determined to keep his constituency alive - persistent vegetative red-staters.
Family Values | March 31, 2005 | Spongebob Squarepants claims he was forced to have sex with Buster the Bunny to prove he has a secret agenda to force homosexuality on America's children. George Bush vehemently denies the allegation.
Gay Agenda | March 24, 2005 | SpongeBob Squarepants and Buster the Bunny are arrested under suspicion of having a hidden gay agenda. A cartoon Abu Ghraib ensues. Parents, hide your childrens' eyes during this part.
Most Wanted | March 17, 2005 | George Bush is disappointed that Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin won't join him to protect his nation against gay-washing kiddie shows.
Cultural Export | March 10, 2005 | Fear Factor meets "extraordinary rendition."
Second SUV | March 3, 2005 | Horst laments to Frank that he will never make the "One-Tonne Challenge.
Challenges | February 24, 2005 | Is Max committed to Kyoto - or does he just have a thing for Rick Mercer? Max, Horst and Celia discuss Kyoto, having babies, ranting about having babies and the Geneva Convention.
Reddi-Wip | February 17, 2005 | Officer Stephen Harper takes a stand: "If we don't stop same-socks marriage, the courts will force churches to allow orgies of naked, Reddi-Wip-slathered bungee jumpers!"
Holy Nausea! | February 10, 2005 | Vatman and Altar Boy Wonder accuse Des and Max of causing the collapse of civilization.
SOCK! | February 3, 2005 | Des and Max are getting dressed, when Vatman and Altar Boy Wonder smash through their bedroom window. "Holy perverts, Vatman! They ARE sharing socks!"
Is Greed Dead | January 27, 2005 | For a minute there, it looked like a tsunami of generousity and tsunami analogies was sweeping across the world.
Shrimp | January 20, 2005 | A romantic night out turns into an environmental diatribe. Moral: Don't eat shrimp. (And don't eat with Horst.)
Bodies | January 13, 2005 | Frank is giving a week's profit from his porn site to tsunami relief. Jerk off for Unicef.
Banner Year | January 6, 2005 | Horst is in unusually high spirits for New Year's. He's going to be a father! Only problem is, Celia isn't pregnant yet.
Moon | December 30, 2004 | "To hell with the state of the world! Let's make a baby!" Horst finally makes a monumental decision.
Stress | December 23, 2004 | Frank is late for his stress management seminar. And to top it off, the pressuer is on to breed. Are there perks to parenthood? Horst is looking for them.
Go to Jail | December 16, 2004 | Donya holds a press conference in order to garner media attention for Raj's plight. He's been in jail on a security certificate for almost a year.
George's Prayer | December 9, 2004 | George Bush visits Paul Martin. On the menu is cluster bomb-seared baby Iraqis bathed in a tortured detainee sweat sauce. Among other delicacies.
Extreme Makeover | December 2, 2004 | Frank and Horst debate whether Reality TV's inroads into all aspects of culture is worth applauding.
Greatest Friend | November 25, 2004 | Will Horst be ranked Frank's Greatest Friend? Does he have what it takes? YOU decide!
Unfiltered | November 18, 2004 | Horst and Flora, a human from 18,000 years ago, get all nostalgic about a time before Celine Dion.
Flora | November 11, 2004 | Horst wakes up to find Homo floresiensis in his kitchen. Or is it another "message dream" about the state of the world?
Casanova | November 4, 2004 | Revealed: How Horst and Celia met.
Sexual Cooling | October 28, 2004 | Horst has ecological disaster on his mind. Does global warming have to create sexual cooling?
Death Sub | October 21, 2004 | Horst doesn't believe an electrical fire in a sub should drown out all other news. Frank feels it should be, since Chrétien spent public money on golf balls instead of safe military equipment.
Moving Day | October 14, 2004 | Cindy finally moves her reality-TV cameras out of Horst and Celia's house. But not before she has a final confrontation with Horst.
SUV Breeds | September 30, 2004 | SUVs are four times more likely than regular cars to kill in a crash. They make pit bulls look like kittens.
Chiro | September 23, 2004 | Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty needs to get to a chiropractor once a week. He gets backlash from all his flip-flops.
O Dubya | November 27, 2003 | An anthem to encourage extraordinary rendition, for Canadian Muslims: O Dub-y-a! Deport us from our land! To foreign jails... That follow your command!
Air of Colour | October 3, 2002 | airism - n. A coercive, fundamentalist ideology that discriminates against "impure" or dark-coloured air. Global Gus and Ralph Klein want a tolerant society that acepts all odors of air.
Clean Airists | September 26, 2002 | Global Gus and Alberta Premier Ralph Klein are here to warn us about a threat so evil, it makes Al-Qaeda look like a bunch of boy scouts.
Evildoers | July 18, 2002 | "I'll smoke them corporate evildoers out of their holes!" George W. is on the warpath to find Osama Bin Enron.
Happy Frog | April 11, 2002 | Global Gus introduces us to his hot-tubbing buddy Happy Frog -- and hypes the glorious future. Does it include global warming? Nah! Throw more coal on the fire to power up your A/C and you'll be fine.
Twas the Night Before Christmas | December 20, 2001 | Twas the night before Christmas in darkest Don Jail, all the cells overflowing with those denied bail... One inmate suspected of criminal terror lost hope for release and fell into despair...
Hate | September 20, 2001 | A variation on one word, in response to the September 11 attack on New York.
A New Climate | August 2, 2001 | A New Climate -- for a Change: Tired of the same old boring extreme sports? Why not try extreme weather?
Global Gus | July 26, 2001 | Hey kids! Name is Global Gus! I'd like to thank you for doing your part to heat up the planet!
Plush Toy | May 3, 2001 | At the G7 Quebec protest, Horst and Celia encounter tear gas and pink teddies.
Hyper-tongue | March 15, 2001 | After Quebec officials claim Ontario has no culture, super-mayor Lastman and Mike Harris try to save the day -- by convincing Asterix and Obelix of our fine culture of cutting culture.
Scum Depot | February 1, 2001 | Celia is in jail after getting arrested for obstructing pepper spray. A girl is sharing her cell who is in for first-degree fiction.
Wild Meat | May 27, 1999 | The PC-Matrix scrambles reality to make voters vote against their own interests.
Muffin Crumbs | August 27, 1998 | Celia meets failed super-waif Cindy for a coffee -- and is subjected to the pull of Planet Lesbian Chic.
Corporate Love Handles | July 17, 1997 | Pollara is slimming down, improving its muscle tone, getting rid of its corporate love handles. So Horst loses his job -- but gains entrepreneurial freedom.
Cologne Zone | July 10, 1997 | Horst's boss berates him for losing consciousness in their meeting. "As you may recall, consciousness is central to your job description."
Cologne Zone | July 2, 1997 | Horst is asked into his boss's office. Horst, of course, assumes the worse. The meeting ends in Horst losing consciousness.
Squeegee Kids | June 26, 1997 | A topless Ontario Premier yells, "I'm gonna wipe these topless squeegee kids off Ontario's windshields!"
Sunscreen | June 19, 1997 | Horst: "I am your friend, Frank. I will not stand idly by while you sacrifice your golden years for a good tan." A rant on the dangers of UV.
The Lost Votes | June 12, 1997 | Canada's natural governing party mysteriously loses votes. Preston Manning's Reform Party becomes the Official Opposition. All presented with a boffo movie poster of Spielberg's The Lost Votes -- Jurassic Party.
Polling Kills | June 5, 1997 | A man falls from the sky over the Canadian Parliament. Another bloody protestor?
Grain of Salt | May 29, 1997 | With less than a week to go until the Canadian federal election, a serial pollster with a mind as twisted as the unity debate is wrecking havoc on the nation.
Polling Fraud | May 22, 1997 | At a time of widespread stock-market fraud, weird poll results are causing an uproar -- and may indicate fraud in the polling industry. How else to explain that yogic flyers may form the Official Opposition?
Jiffy-Kwik | May 15, 1997 | Horst vents on having to process consumer research on Jiffy-Kwik fat-free, egg-free scrambled egg powder. Also starring the researcher behind Deep Blue, the computer that beat Kasparov at chess.
Optometrist | May 8, 1997 | Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien's first appearance in Weltschmerz.
A Gaffe-Roots Party | May 1, 1997 | Preston Manning's fashion tips for Reform Party members.
Injury Upgrade | April 24, 1997 | Horst pays $1000 for injury avodance with his health credit card. Is the Casino Hospital run by the mafia now?
Injury Upgrade | April 17, 1997 | Horst is asked by the interim intern assistant to the nursing assistant if he wants to upgrade his injury to something more life threatening -- like a nice, clean hole in the head -- in order to get quicker treatment for his sprain.
Diagnosis | April 10, 1997 | After 12 hours waiting in the Casino Hospital, Horst is finally examined -- but by an interim intern assistant to the nursing assistant, who cleans toilets and wounds.
Oh Lucky Man | April 3, 1997 | At the Casino Hospital, patients come to have their appendix removed and end up losing their life's savings as well.
Casino Hospital | March 27, 1997 | Horst and Celia finally arrive at the Casino Hospital. Horst is forced to grovel for treatment.
Taxi Driver | March 13, 1997 | Horst sprains his ankle on a flat surface. Celia hails a cab to get to a hospital. Mike Harris is the taxi driver.
Harris vs. Harris | March 6, 1997 | Mike Harris battles his own past persona. Never before has cloning techology been so scary.
The End of the Universe | February 27, 1997 | Even though this cartoon was drawn three years before Walkerton, it foreshadows the E. coli outbreak there that Mike Harris' cuts to environmental safeguards made possible.
Bungee RRSPs | February 20, 1997 | Frank invites Horst to go heli-bungee snowboarding wih him. And the extreme games have beguns.
Mike Milosovic | February 6, 1997 | Ontario Premier Mike Harris ignores the results of a referendum in which Toronto residents voted against amalgamation. Greater Serburbia was in the works.
Megatown Bomb | January 30, 1997 | The golf supremacists were ruling Ontario and besieging Toronto -- creating a Greater Serburbia with a full-scale thermo-unclear strike.
mcity | January 23, 1997 | Mike Harris takes a page from the mbanx ads that are running -- and promotes mcity. "Maybe it's time for a new relationship with your city."
Year 2000 | January 16, 1997 | Horst has a premonition of the roller-coaster ride that will be the leadup to the turn of the millennium.
Happy New Cuts | January 9, 1997 | Reluctant to see last year regurgitated as series of Best 10 lists and tossed aside, Horst wants to recycle the old years before jump-starting the future.
Public Sector Tour | December 26, 1996 | Horst escapes Life-Mart with a Christmas present for Celia -- but the bottom-line pricing of humankind has taken over everywhere.
Aisle 703: John Grisham Novels | December 19, 1996 | How do you choose between an infinity of gift ideas, each equally unique?
Life-Stylers | December 12, 1996 | Horst discovers you can't leave Life-Mart. Horst is stuck in Life-Mart, sentenced to a life-time of Christmas shopping. But luckily he meets Frank, who assures him that it's all a marketing ploy. Escape is possible.
The Future of Retail | December 5, 1996 | Horst discovers you can't leave Life-Mart.
Life-Mart | November 28, 1996 | In a desperate search for a Christmas gift for Celia, Horst enters Life-Mart. Will he ever be able to leave?
Hot Wet Cuts | November 21, 1996 | The final of this four-part series featured a movie poster for Mike Harris' cuts-fetish movie Cuts, a rip-off of David Cronenberg's car-crash fetish movie, Crash (not to be confused with the 2005 Oscar-winning movie of the same name).
Hot Wet Cuts | November 14, 1996 | Mike Harris slashes everythng in sight with orgasmic mayhem. Lots of cutback porn visible here. Not for the faint-hearted.
Aprodisiac | November 7, 1996 | The second part of this two-part series, in which then Ontario Premier stars as the ring-leader of a group of politicians who get sexual thrills out of spending cuts -- strangely similar to the car-wreck fetishists to David Cronenberg's Crash
Hack Slash Slit Carve Slice Eviscerate | October 31, 1996 | Mike Harris and his wife Janet get all kinky with surgical instruments after a hospital-closing ceremony. The first of an homage to Cronenburg's Crash.
Life Sucks | October 24, 1996 | An early glimpse at the manic-depressive relationship of Horst and Celia.
Heart of Darkness | March 20, 1997 | "My ankle is throbbing to a mad acid techno hip-hop beat. If it swells any bigger, it'll explode and splatter the inside of the cab with memories of Tarantino."